The Bugs Bunny Show Episode 11 is an episode of The Bugs Bunny Show, originally aired on December 20, 1960.
Porky Pig is the host of the show, but is being constantly pestered by Charlie Dog, who is simply looking for a master. Despite this, Porky continues on with the show by presenting three short subjects.
Porky and Charlie Dog
ANNOUNCER: "Starring the Oscar-winning rabbit, Bugs Bunny." BUGS (bows): "And co-starring the famous Porky Pig." (points cane in Porky's direction) PORKY: "L-l-ladies and g-g-gentlemen, I am to bu-bu bu-bu. I am to be-be bu-bu. I am to bu-bu bu-bu. I am to bu-be bu-be. To be or not to be. No. No. I am to be your emcee tonight, and I consider it--" CHARLIE (from right corner of stage): "Pst. Pst. Come here." PORKY (walking partly in Charlie's direction): "L-l-look, we're on the air. W-w-what's the big idea?" CHARLIE: "Come here. (Porky moves closer to Charlie so that Charlie can whisper in his ear) Can you use a dog? I happen to know where you can get one cheap." PORKY (walks back to centre stage): "We-we we-we-what? T-t-that's ridiculous. And now, l-l-ladies and gentlemen, I would like to tell you a story about a s-s-sweet, little pussycat who lived in a n-n-nice American home."
PORKY: "And n-n-now, friends, I'm going to ah--" CHARLIE (fully on stage): "Look, bud. Don't miss this golden opportunity. I am 50 percent pointer. (points his finger in various directions) There it is. There it is. There it is. 50 percent boxer. (does some boxing moves) 50 percent setter. (sits on a stool and smokes a pipe) Irish setter. 50 percent watchdog. (pulls a pocket watch out of his waist fur) 50 percent spitz." (spits on floor of stage, inflaming Porky, who acts to remove Charlie from the stage)
PORKY (walking onto stage after supposedly disposing of Charlie): "Well, I hope I got rid of that pest." CHARLIE (peeking from corner of stage): "But mostly I'm all Labrador retriever." PORKY: "Oh, you are n-n-not a Labrador retriever." CHARLIE (walking fully onto stage): "I'm not." PORKY: "No. You are n-n-not neither no Labrador retriever." CHARLIE: "Look, if you doubt my word, get me a Labrador, and I'll retrieve it. That's fair, isn't it?" PORKY (befuddled): "A l-l-Labrador? W-w-well sure, I... ah... you..." CHARLIE (using a toothpick to irreverently pick between his teeth): "Have you got a Labrador?" PORKY: "No." CHARLIE: "Know where you can get a Labrador?" PORKY: "N-n-n-no." CHARLIE: "Then shut up. (Porky, enraged and literally blowing top, grabs Charlie and starts to carry the annoying mutt permanently off stage) Hey, Bugs, this might be a good time for you to take over." PORKY: "Y-y-yes. M-m-maybe we'd better." BUGS (seated at his desk on stage and somewhat surprised at Charlie's suggestion): "Huh? Oh, oh, oh, yes. A funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio, eh--"